Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Focused on one another...again..

I love this man.  
Glad he loves me during these days of limited showers, baby drool, etc.
Wow.  Our 7th Valentines Day married.
We have had many more than that dating and knowing each other.
We have been through a lot, especially the past two years.

Lost a child. Had our first living child. Gone through a long adoption.
no excuses. but facts.
Dealt with our last deployment, tried to learn what it meant to "reattach" emotionally.
This was harder than we thought...
And we are still working on it.
The Army is VERY SUCCESSFUL at training soldiers to detach from their emotions.
To get things done effectively with no emotion attached.
Especially in the infantry.
With all men.
Even more so in the group of Rangers B worked with.

This is to be expected.
But we are trying to be aware and reconnect.
Now, knowing that he will never leave again.
It makes us so happy.
It is what we have always hoped for.

But we finally can let our guard down.  I think that until now, my heart's goal was to stay disconnected so that it wouldn't be so hard when he left again.  I think he feels the same way, but  more on a day to day basis, where h doesn't attach as much each day, because he is used to this with the guys.  If they get annoyed with something he does, he doesn't care...because emotions aren't involved in the army.

In addition, whether you are married to someone in the military or not, a manly man or not...whether he is old or young, tall or short...he is a man.
and you are a woman.
which makes you different.
in many ways.

We communicate differently. We talk differently.
We relate differently.
But at the end of the day, we just need LOVE.

I remember when we went through premarital counseling with our dear friends and Brandon's discipler at the time, they had one child and were going through marriage counseling.
At the time, I thought we would never be at that place.
We went through counseling during Briar.
We're not in counseling now.
But, we are pursing each other.
We are trying to put our selfishness away, and really serve one another.
Because we can see how marriage becomes a isolated, selfish thing.
And neither of us wants that. 
We want a partership.  To LOVE one another with actions, not just words.
 "You and me against the world", is what Brandon used to always tell me.
I love it.

Valentines Day fell at a great time this year. 
We are finally back on our feet after baby.
Just in time to really re-focuson one another.

I'll be honest. i don't really care for the "holiday".
Commercialized crap. 
Everything I do not like about 'holidays'. 
But, this year, it serves to help refocus us on our marriage.
And THAT is worth any commercialized crap. :)
We needed it.
We LOVED going on a date. It reminded us that it needs to be a priority every week. 

So, thank you to the commercialized, over done day.
Because it helped us realize that we can have so much more for our marriage. 
A marriage that we have allowed to slip a little in the past two years. 
Don't get me wrong, we are doing fine. But I think if we aren't always on the road to pursuing each other and pursing a righteous, God focused relationship, we will FAIL miserably...
I am encouraged today :)

My in laws sent a small vday gift that allowed us to go on a date.
We got flowers and candy from my parents, which we enjoyed together before we left.  

And we left this guy with our friend Bryan's parents. His Georgia grandparents. 

And thank you, Whitmores, for offering us a night date this weekend, since our Tuesday date was a afternoon quick dinner... :)  That makes us smile!

MY SWEET SECOND VALENTINE.  My four month old boy. Nothing beats that smile.


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  1. This is a beautiful post. I can't even imagine the sacrifice you all go through while in the military. To be so detached, but yet then have to be attached to your spouse. . . that would be hard! Before kids, marriage felt effortless to me. It was easy to focus on each other. But now with kids. Whew! It's a game changer, and I've realized how fragile a marriage can be and how important it is to be more deliberate in the relationship. I can't imagine anything harder on a marriage than adding kids to the mix. It sounds like you and that husband of yours have a great foundation. :)

  2. You are such an encouragement Brooke. <3