Watch out for momma bear!

oh goodness, watch out ladies, because four month old finn is turning into a handsome little man! he has always been handsome, but now he is starting to look a little less 'baby' and a lot more 'boy'. I'm not saying I'm happy about it...but trying to embrace it, because come on, he will grow whether we like it or not!

No joke, I did not enhance his eyes.  Got them from his dad.  I ran a basic preset over the photo, but I didn't brighten his eyes up.  Crazy little guy and his bright blue, gorgeous eyes.  And the drool.  One month of drool now.  Waiting for the tooth, but not in a any hurry to have it either :)

Let me tell you about my crazy momma bear instinct that I had no idea that existed until I had children.  I didn't even know it happened, but let me tell you it does!  I am sure you all have it, in one way or another.  The way I hear parents talk about their kids, "Little Johnny is so naughty when he does this, I wish he would stop", but the minute anyone else talks about little johnny, you better watch out!  It's not okay anymore :)

I have seen this in several instances with my children, briar included, two of which I will give examples of, but neither of which were that "big of a deal".  I am sure the other person didn't recognize that the situation even happened and probably didn't even think to say anything to me about it, because it was that minor.

Okay, here we go.  First, we'll talk about Finn.  I stay at home with him.  I love being with him.  I leave him with Brandon once every couple of days to run an errand.  Other than that, he has hung out with my friend Terri (holla for a screaming child!) and my friend Karlisa's mom, the childcare workers at fitness for women (5 times), max fitness (3 times) {WHY AM I TELLING YOU, YOU DON"T CARE...SORRY! JUST MAKING A POINT..}....oh, and the grandparents...but needless to say, he has not been away from me that much.  So leaving him is a big deal.  I try not to be one of "those parents", so I have been trying to leave him with people more...but at the same time...he won't be spoiled people, he's four months old.  And if he does get spoiled, well...then we'll deal with that :)

ANYWAY, I left him at our church nursery. I trust them.  They know him.  I knew he would be fine.  I left him sleeping with his airplane engine (sounding) noise machine, and a cover over his car seat.  Sleep should have lasted an hour at least.  When I get back, about 50 minutes later, he is being held by a worker.  I ask if he was fussy and she said, "Well that white noise was pretty loud and he MUST be hungry", then she said, " He sure is a serious baby".  I felt fine until she said the last part.  I mean, I can say that he is serious.  But when you tell me he is serious (unless you're a family member, who can make those comments :), it is like saying, "Wow, that scarf is interesting" or "Your hair is different looking".  I wouldn't call them insults, but I certainly wouldn't classify them as compliments either!  So, of course, i couldn't stay quiet.  i said, "Well, he smiles all the time for me".  {really? why did I feel the need to say that? she wasn't being mean, just making an observation!  see what i mean??  momma bear is coming out!}.

Then there is example number two.  Involving Eli.  Well, since I can't show his real photo online, but I can show it in person, I am desperate to show off my child to others.  You can find me flashing it to the workers at Starbucks, my dental hygenist, etc.  So, when my 5:30am workout buddies (random acquaintances who I have been seeing at the gym for 4.5 years..>} asks about  my "new" baby, I proudly get out my phone to show a picture of Eli.  Although Finn is my "new" baby, most of the people there have already seen him.  To make sure we were talking about the same child, I said, "This is the newest baby who we are adopting".  As I held out the phone to show him (an older man, in his 60's}, he seemed confused and then uninviting.  He looked at me, almost disappointed, then said, "Oh, well where is the picture of YOUR baby?"...insinuating that Eli is not mine..?!  Also, looking at his photo, and making me feel a very distinct sense of RACIAL prejudice.  I cannot read minds, but I feel pretty certain that there was something bothering him about the way my child looked.  And that made me so mad!!!  I know that I have to prepare myself for a lifetime of weird questions about his race and his place in our family, but as far as I'm concerned, he is just as much "my" child as Finn is.  He might not have been born from me, but the Lord called us to him, and prepared his way to be in our family...so there is no difference.

Okay, just had to see if anyone else had these crazy momma instincts to protect their children when others start to talk bad about them!  Or even start to talk ANY WAY about them...or even look at them a different way.  If I'm this bad now, how will I be when he gets here?!

In other news, I am feeling very weirded out by my angel care monitor. I have a video portion of it, and it is quiet until it hears something in the room (usually him fussing).  But lately, close to midnight, it has been coming on, but all I hear is white noise.  So I click on to see him, and he is sleeping SOUNDLY.  Not moving, not rustling around, NOTHING.  Then, it goes silent again.  THen, about 30 seconds later, I hear the white noise again, but when I inspect the screen, he is STILL.  Umm, hello house from 1924, I do not believe in ghosts, but I would appreciate that whatever is happening in Finn's room...could it please stop?! It is weirding me out to have this thing come on!  Umm, thank you.

Oh, and in further news...I did launch the photography blogsite, only about a month past my projected goal..which was at the beginning of 2012. :)  If you get a chance, go say hi there :)  I will just post there with new photo shoots, and occasionally some personal shoots of Finn, etc.