{mr.finn} four months

This child is mine, so I'm a bit partial.
But really?
Does it get cuter?
I love this guy so much.
4 months old.
He is DROOLY (is that even a word?)...which is quite clear from these photos.
He loves sperry's. Well...maybe his mom does. :) But either way, he is ready to be on the boat this summer.
He is getting more hair.
He loves to dress up :)

Overall...I love spending my days with him.
I literally miss him when he takes naps.
Pathetic, i am aware.
But, I'm not missing a moment. and I feel lucky for that.  I didn't get these moments with briar. I don't get them with eli.  So i'm soaking them up with finn. every one of them.

FInances aren't the prettiest thing around here.
I quit my job, which I loved...and which paid pretty well..
Brandon is weeks away from leaving the army for a much lower paying job.
But we somehow feel content.
I'm not sure how all the bills will get paid.
Well, yes I am.
God is clear about his commands. And so we will follow him, even when it seems scary.
I am tempted to apply for jobs.
Starbucks?! I should work there just to pay for the habit...
But I feel like God has us in a season of waiting, of trusting...
So, we are doing that.

Without further suspense...our sweet boy...

I realize these are a tad blurry, but it's worth it to me for the sweet smiles :)

Gosh...

 I LOVE IT.
I love spending time with this guy.
Focusing more on ministry and on God's purpose for my life.
Poor and happy.
Yep, I think I'd rather be that than Rich (or well off) and not content.
Let's be honest that this is going to be a battle.
Satan knows my weakness...that I covet other people's houses..stuff...abilities..

I am embarrassed to share this story, because this friend reads the blog (Hi t!), but for the sake of authenticity, here we go...

It started out a normal movie/switch date night. One couple goes to a movie, babysitting the children and then in the same night, you switch children, and the other couple hits a movie. PERFECT. Well, as I sat in this beautiful, clean, organized, well decorated house...I began to play the game of comparison. Wow, she is a wonderful house keeper. Wow, her house sure is organized. I'm so impressed with her style. She has such nice things (which she later told me were mostly from garage sales...see...darn comparison...). She decorates so well. she keeps up with a scrapbook of photos. She has an organized and beautiful bookcase. She has a simple and clean baby room. And in every one of these thoughts, I heard Satan..."you're not good enough", "You're not enough", "you will never be a good mom", "you will never be a good wife", "you will never cook like her", "you will never be this organized". And after sitting down when the kids were asleep, Brandon sat down to watch a movie, and I sat down and cried. In the middle of this beautiful living room. I let the lies of Satan permeate my heart. And I hate that.

Why do I allow that to happen? Because I do not listen to God's promises for me.
I am a great mom.
Perfect? NO. Great? yes!
God has given me everything I need to be a great mom and wife.

One of the things I LOVE about our church...and our pastors..is the way they focus on living in your STRENGTHS. Don't try to live in the things you don't thrive in. I should never strive to be the most organized person in the world. It is not my strength. So I will try to remain organized enough to function well, but I don't need to be the best. In eternity someday, will God judge me on my cleanliness, cooking, or my organizations skills?!? NO! Will be judge me on the way my child serves the Lord? YES! On the way I served him? Yes! On the way I shared in my blessings with others? YES! None of that has anything to do with my house. Or my faults. So, that night was good for me. I left that house feeling encouraged. Although my house doesn't look anything like that...it is US. it is eclectic. And although not messy...it has craft supplies peeking out of cupboards sometimes..and books sitting on shelves..but it is US. So I'm okay with it for now.

But, I might like to have her over to help me re-arrange things...