Thursday, February 9, 2012

{mr.finn} four months

This child is mine, so I'm a bit partial.
But really?
Does it get cuter?
I love this guy so much.
4 months old.
He is DROOLY (is that even a word?)...which is quite clear from these photos.
He loves sperry's. Well...maybe his mom does. :) But either way, he is ready to be on the boat this summer.
He is getting more hair.
He loves to dress up :)

Overall...I love spending my days with him.
I literally miss him when he takes naps.
Pathetic, i am aware.
But, I'm not missing a moment. and I feel lucky for that.  I didn't get these moments with briar. I don't get them with eli.  So i'm soaking them up with finn. every one of them.

FInances aren't the prettiest thing around here.
I quit my job, which I loved...and which paid pretty well..
Brandon is weeks away from leaving the army for a much lower paying job.
But we somehow feel content.
I'm not sure how all the bills will get paid.
Well, yes I am.
God is clear about his commands. And so we will follow him, even when it seems scary.
I am tempted to apply for jobs.
Starbucks?! I should work there just to pay for the habit...
But I feel like God has us in a season of waiting, of trusting...
So, we are doing that.

Without further suspense...our sweet boy...

I realize these are a tad blurry, but it's worth it to me for the sweet smiles :)




Gosh...
 I LOVE IT.
I love spending time with this guy.
Focusing more on ministry and on God's purpose for my life.
Poor and happy.
Yep, I think I'd rather be that than Rich (or well off) and not content.
Let's be honest that this is going to be a battle.
Satan knows my weakness...that I covet other people's houses..stuff...abilities..

I am embarrassed to share this story, because this friend reads the blog (Hi t!), but for the sake of authenticity, here we go...

It started out a normal movie/switch date night. One couple goes to a movie, babysitting the children and then in the same night, you switch children, and the other couple hits a movie. PERFECT. Well, as I sat in this beautiful, clean, organized, well decorated house...I began to play the game of comparison. Wow, she is a wonderful house keeper. Wow, her house sure is organized. I'm so impressed with her style. She has such nice things (which she later told me were mostly from garage sales...see...darn comparison...). She decorates so well. she keeps up with a scrapbook of photos. She has an organized and beautiful bookcase. She has a simple and clean baby room. And in every one of these thoughts, I heard Satan..."you're not good enough", "You're not enough", "you will never be a good mom", "you will never be a good wife", "you will never cook like her", "you will never be this organized". And after sitting down when the kids were asleep, Brandon sat down to watch a movie, and I sat down and cried. In the middle of this beautiful living room. I let the lies of Satan permeate my heart. And I hate that.

Why do I allow that to happen? Because I do not listen to God's promises for me.
I am a great mom.
Perfect? NO. Great? yes!
God has given me everything I need to be a great mom and wife.

One of the things I LOVE about our church...and our pastors..is the way they focus on living in your STRENGTHS. Don't try to live in the things you don't thrive in. I should never strive to be the most organized person in the world. It is not my strength. So I will try to remain organized enough to function well, but I don't need to be the best. In eternity someday, will God judge me on my cleanliness, cooking, or my organizations skills?!? NO! Will be judge me on the way my child serves the Lord? YES! On the way I served him? Yes! On the way I shared in my blessings with others? YES! None of that has anything to do with my house. Or my faults. So, that night was good for me. I left that house feeling encouraged. Although my house doesn't look anything like that...it is US. it is eclectic. And although not messy...it has craft supplies peeking out of cupboards sometimes..and books sitting on shelves..but it is US. So I'm okay with it for now.

But, I might like to have her over to help me re-arrange things...



name
gray ric rac copy

6 comments:

  1. I feel like you are always speaking to an area of my life....thanks for sharing Brooke. I love how authentic you are and always will be...it is refreshing. We sure miss you guys and I cannot believe how big Finn is getting! Wish we could hug all of you! Maybe someday soon ;) <3 you friend. Natalie

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  2. Hey! Just wanted to say thankyou for sharing this. I really need to "hear" it today. Hope I can get to nursing group more often... And I tried to comment on your photography blog but couldn't - your photos and style is amazing. We are saving up for you!!!! Have a great weekend! -Meghan Rumer

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  3. He's SO cute, Brooke! We are planning for me to be a SAHM once we have a baby, and the thought of living off M's salary alone is scary, but we feel like its God plan for us and we know he will provide :) Miss seeing you :)

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  4. 1 - Finn is so adorable!!
    2 - I could have written this post about the way I felt in your house last week. Seriously. I was sitting there thinking, "Wow, to be young, cute, successful and trendy. And to have a husband who loves the Lord." My house is a COMPLETE disaster. Years ago, I packed up all decor because I was tired of fighting toddlers for it. My walls are drawn on. I do not remember the last time I dusted my baseboards. I looked at your clean house and felt dirty. I also felt like an OLD lady, and I think I may be the oldest - and during introductions, I did have a sudden fleeting/panicky thought, that the reason Brandon asked me to lead was that I would represent the OLDER ladies in the group. SIGH

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  5. He is so darling!!! Love his shoes too! You should be showing him off! Do not worry about the finances. I quit to stay home with Sam, and have never gone back, and God will provide. Especially as he sends more kids your way..I would always get a little nervous, but then I am like OK, Lord, you keep sending kids here to be with us, I am gonna let you take the hit....lol! and He gladly does, cause He is that awesome. He will really inspire you to be creative about expenses.....Yall are gonna be more than fine! God Bless!

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  6. I can defenitly relate. I am not the most organized person, which bugs my husband. But I know in the end I am the best mom and wife I can be because the Lord says so. Great post..

    Oh, and you HAVE to tell me where you got that adorable onesie for your little man!

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