A special birthday...one year...a special blessing

I can't believe it's been a year.It feels like I held that sweet boy in my arms yesterday.But, no, it has been an entire 365 days that have gone by.Sometimes I feel like I haven't grasped it at all.Then other days I feel like the Lord is so good to have brought him to heaven....to the place that we all long for in eternity.  That he never spent a day here on earth.
Wow, the emotions today are full of peace...but they sure are real.I wish my little man were here to celebrate my 28th birthday and his first birthday.I wish we got to do that together.  I wish he was about to welcome his baby brother into the world.  
But we do. and he is!  Because I know he is with Jesus. And I sit and talk with Jesus daily.So I know sweet Briar is here as we celebrate.
{Random} Today Brandon and I both seperately read a part from the book of JUDE in the bible.  Right before Revelation. I did not know it was in the bible {embarrasing}....but I read a verse that really struck my heart.  
Jude 1:21  "Live in such a way that God's love can bless you as you wait for the eternal life that our Lord Jesus Christ in his mercy is going to give you."
I love this.  Live in a way where I am giving of myself...for the gospel...for Christ....and even in that...he can bless me, as I wait for the eternal life that we will have...  I do not NEED to be blessed. My life is not about receiving blessing.  But even now, I know that we will receive sweet Finn as a blessing in our lives.  And for that I am so thankful.

The things that little child has taught me this year about God's absolute sovereignty...his grace...it is unbelievable.  The eternal perspective his life has given me.The way his life has made me want to live in a way that I serve and GIVE all that I am...All the time...because being caught up in myself isn't worth the time...It is worth it to pursue Godliness...and pursue the Lord.He has made us realize that the blessings the Lord gives us do not always come the way we imagine.  In the package we think. In the perfect way we plan.  But they definitely come.  You just have to be willing to accept them...whatever they look like.
What an amazing gift God has given me in that.

I love this picture.  Almost a PICTURE of God taking Briar to heaven.  This picture just is a tangible show of the eternal light of our savior...and how he was shining that day on the outer shell of Briar...and how he shines now...on me while I wait to join my son in heaven. I pray that I will live a long life of influence here on this earth before I go to meet him. But who knows what the number of my days is. So I will live each day with purpose.  I say all this with the chance of sounding "CHEESY"...but also just sharing my heart...even if it might come off that way.

I don't think I have shared this before. My little boy, and his sweet face. I love him so much. I wish I could kiss those cheeks today. But I know that the one who does kiss those cheeks is so much better than his momma....although days go by when I still feel like momma would be best.. :)  I chose to cover up his little eyes. Because he was not just sleeping, but had moved on...

Later today, we will release balloons and reflect on the blessings that we have in this world...Briar being such a special one to us.

If you live in Columbus...I would love for you to join us.

If not, be thankful for your blessings today, wherever you are!. 
I sure am!!