Wednesday, March 16, 2011


Today is one of those great days. I am just happy.
Still bittersweet. Still waiting.
But happy!

And I feel this song to the depths of my soul.

There's no place I would rather be.
Than here in your love. Here in your love.
Set a fire down in my soul, that I can't contain, that I can't control.
I want more of you God.
Set a fire down in my soul, that I can't contain, that I can't control.
I want more of you God.

I heard it the first time. I thought it was okay.
I thought that non christians might think it was a little hokey.
Are you kidding? Why do I always worry about that?
I thought it was good. But not life changing.
 But ever since, I have not been able to get it out of my mind. ALL I can think is, Where did I find that video? I MUST SEE IT AGAIN! NOW!
I couldn't remember the words, I could just remember the passion that I began singing the song with, even after the first time.
So after a long search, I found it.

It is incredible.
And seeps into my heart, big time.

In fact, I'm listening to it on repeat right now.

And the place I found it is an amazing story all in it's own.

An amazing group of young life folks are rallying around one of their own who was diagnosed with cancer.  I found it through some other blogs I loved. Then I watched the promotional video, and it is a bunch of random people that I know from Lexington.  Although I was never directly involved in young life as a leade,r I was involved when I was in high school...and a lot of the young life and campus crusade for christ people crossed anyway...small world that I ended up knowing a bunch of this group.

The title of her blog is "Don't waste your Cancer".  GOSH, I love that.  After walking through what I did, I sometimes wish my heart would have been MORE to glorify God through Briar's life.  Sometimes it became too much about me, and I wish that weren't the case.  I absolutely LOVE her perspective on it.  And guess what....she recently was pronounced CANCER FREE!

But her friends are running the Nashville Music City Half Marathon (which I have always wanted to do), and lots of people are joining them in the run.  To raise money to help them cover their medical bills. Although young life rocks, I'm not sure it has left them in a place of financial security when faced with huge medical issues.  I love that her friend says that they should "run with reckless abandon" (Literally) the life that God has called us to.  I couldn't agree more.  And that is our "family saying" that we have written in our hallway, for our year.  But I don't know if it will change next year either.  To run with reckless abandon...towards whatever God has for us.  It is unbelievably scary.

It might mean taking away security. It might mean taking away financial freedom (in some ways).  It might mean sacrificing.  I want to be around people that are willing to sacrifice for the gospel (key word: WILLING. It doesn't mean they ARE living in poverty. I am just saying...if God calls me to xy or z...I will go...I will give...I will do it..).  It is so easy for me to say, "Well, but I want to live a comfortable life." or "I will be struggling if I can only shop once a pay period".  But honestly, I want to live a life that is obedient, whatever that looks like.  Whether it means we make $100,000 a year or $20,000 living in the streets of Africa.  I don't think enjoying life financially is a problem.  I think that we have money so that we can enjoy it in many senses.  But I do think we are called TO GIVE.  And to do it JOYFULLY.  It is hard.  If we can't give, we know that we think that our money is our OWN.  It is not. It was not given to us by US.  Although we can think that...because we work for a paycheck.  Who gave us the ability to work? It is an area I feel convicted in this year.  I want an iphone. I do.  No lying here.  But I really feel convicted to wait. Maybe it will come in the future. But not now.  Right now, I need to give more than I feel comfortable giving.  I say "I" because Brandon would be comfortable giving away EVERYTHING we have.  He is way ahead of me in this area. WAY AHEAD.  The Lord has given him a sweet spirit and a heart that just wants to GIVE.  He would move out of our house and live in a trailer and give our whole salary away.  I'm not there.  :)  Nor do I know if I ever will be.  But I suppose that is why I am married to him.  Such an amazing heart inside of that man.

Maybe the adoption will move along easier from Africa.

Just sayin...

gray ric rac copy

1 comment:

  1. just looked at that blog you linked up....i was racking my brain as to who it was and then i was like duh!! ryder!- biggest ultimate frisbee fanatic /headband wearing

    thanks for that post and song :)