Monday, November 15, 2010

The Briar Tree, almost two months later!

What a whirlwind weekend! This weekend marked two months since Briar was born. (I didn't even realize it, but my friend Danielle told me she was thinking about me today, wasn't it two months? and I said..."No, that is Monday (I am used to counting Mondays) and she mentioned that it was the 13th...)  Crazy how fast time goes.  This weekend we got to see some amazing friends. This weekend provided some great closure for both Brandon and I. And we managed to visit some family in the process!

This weekend we traveled to London, KY to put Briar's ashes under the tree we planted in his honor. It was hard for me to decide...did I want to keep his ashes in our house or plant them or put them somewhere?    I decided that I would keep pictures in the house and put his ashes under the tree on the family farm.  Once we decided this, we decided to put a plaque or something with his name on it up there. Brandon wanted to have a cross. It reminded him of Arlington National Cemetery.  So we got everything prepared and ready.  We drove all the way to Kentucky.
And then we had this conversation:
"Where are the ashes?" (me)
(pause) "I don't know, where are the ashes?" (Brandon)
"I"m not sure. I had them on the bed with the suitcase, did you grab them?"
"I don't know. I have no idea." B
"Well I don't know either."me
Panic ensued.
We came here to plant a tree with our son's ashes underneath and we forgot the ashes. Awesome.
But then I thought, "Maybe we're not supposed to put them somewhere, maybe we should just keep them at home".
After a full day of looking for them, and going through lots of ideas.."Can we get someone to send them express mail?"..."That might be weird, sending ashes in the mail..?".
Then, out of the blue...they showed up.
In my camera bag.
Just sitting there.
In my camera bag.
Would you ever put a baby in a camera bag?
I doubt it.
But where was I supposed to put them?
I just don't know. :)

Anyway, we found them and were able to move forward.  We planted the tree on the family farm that Brandon's grandparents own, but some of his family lives on, and several other family members own parts of.  It was really special and really fun to be with family and friends and to honor my sweet son.  I didn't know how special it was that I had his ashes in my hands. But I loved it.  I know that his ashes are simply a shell of who he was, but it is so special to know that it was what was left of him.  It was so neat to "hold" them....we all took turns putting the ashes in the hole where the tree would go. Brandon said a couple things. And then we each took turns shoveling dirt on the tree and around the tree.

It was so peaceful. And amazing. And beautiful.
I'm so glad we did it.

(enjoy the photos from my sweet friend Sarah H. She came and was a part of it...and took photos..)

These sweet boys are 8 (the twins: Adam and Ethan) and 10 (Evan).  When I began helping their mom in college, the boys were two months and Evan was 2!!

The tree is in front, then the cross, then you can see down the hill (the farm house)

"He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.  He counts the stars and calls them all by name.  How great is our Lord! Our power is absolute!  His understanding is beyond comprehension!  ..No, the Lord's delight is in those who fear him, those who put his hope in his unfailing love."
Psalm 147:3-5,11

gray ric rac copy


  1. Brooke,

    What beautiful pictures. My heart is melting and my eyes full of tears. We love you and your Briar.

  2. It was so fun catching up with you in person and hearing about Briar while you all were in Kentucky! I love the pictures and am glad everything worked out for you all to be able to honor Briar in such a special way. Hope we get to see y'all again sooner than later :) We love you guys!

  3. What a beautiful place to lay Briar to rest! I love his cross. It is perfect! Thank you for sharing this with us. Love you!

  4. How special Brooke! I'm so glad you were able to have that special time with your family and plant that tree. It reminds me of Psalm 1 "... he will be like a tree planted by streams of water , which yields its fruit in season..."

  5. The tree looks amazing Brooke and the cross is perfect. I loved your cowboy boots in the background.. just like the mom of a little boy! So thankful that you and Brandon have this place to go and be with your son.

  6. Wow. What a beautiful spot. The cross turned out great. Thank you so much for sharing this special day with all of us.

  7. You continue to amaze me. What strength you have been given. And I love that you found Briar's ashes in your camera bag! I can't think of a better place - camera bags store cameras and batteries and memory cards that are all important for capturing memories that we protect with our lives. What a perfect place to have Briar.

  8. Brooke it seems just so perfect. What a place to come and be with him. I cannot agree more with Michelle on the camera bag. What a precious place to retreat to when needed.

  9. so beautiful ookie! and who are those 3 blonde old gentlemen!?!? they look like handsome teenagers! i think in 3 months they've aged a year! so glad they were there!
    thanks for sharing with us!
    love you!!!

  10. what a safe,cherished, memorable place to have Briar's ashes :) loved the photos, the cute little tree, the beautiful cross, and continuing to share your story :) the Fitz boys seriously grew like weeds! glad you were surrounded by those who love you-even those who weren't there!!
    HUGS and love to you and Brandon!!!

  11. The pictures are so gorgeous! What an awesome idea! (the tree) Love you girl!

  12. Thank you for stopping by! I am your newest follower and thanks for following me!

    I hope you have an awesome day! And that tree is gorgeous! Beautiful pictures!

  13. I believe that Briar was chuckling looking down on you & Brandon hunting for his ashes & discussing getting them mailed. Glad you have these special pictures to remember such a special day. :)