The Briar Tree, almost two months later!

What a whirlwind weekend! This weekend marked two months since Briar was born. (I didn't even realize it, but my friend Danielle told me she was thinking about me today, wasn't it two months? and I said..."No, that is Monday (I am used to counting Mondays) and she mentioned that it was the 13th...)  Crazy how fast time goes.  This weekend we got to see some amazing friends. This weekend provided some great closure for both Brandon and I. And we managed to visit some family in the process!

This weekend we traveled to London, KY to put Briar's ashes under the tree we planted in his honor. It was hard for me to decide...did I want to keep his ashes in our house or plant them or put them somewhere?    I decided that I would keep pictures in the house and put his ashes under the tree on the family farm.  Once we decided this, we decided to put a plaque or something with his name on it up there. Brandon wanted to have a cross. It reminded him of Arlington National Cemetery.  So we got everything prepared and ready.  We drove all the way to Kentucky.
And then we had this conversation:
"Where are the ashes?" (me)
(pause) "I don't know, where are the ashes?" (Brandon)
"I"m not sure. I had them on the bed with the suitcase, did you grab them?"
"I don't know. I have no idea." B
"Well I don't know either."me
Panic ensued.
We came here to plant a tree with our son's ashes underneath and we forgot the ashes. Awesome.
But then I thought, "Maybe we're not supposed to put them somewhere, maybe we should just keep them at home".
After a full day of looking for them, and going through lots of ideas.."Can we get someone to send them express mail?"..."That might be weird, sending ashes in the mail..?".
Then, out of the blue...they showed up.
In my camera bag.
Just sitting there.
Ashes.
Briar.
In my camera bag.
Would you ever put a baby in a camera bag?
I doubt it.
But where was I supposed to put them?
I just don't know. :)

Anyway, we found them and were able to move forward.  We planted the tree on the family farm that Brandon's grandparents own, but some of his family lives on, and several other family members own parts of.  It was really special and really fun to be with family and friends and to honor my sweet son.  I didn't know how special it was that I had his ashes in my hands. But I loved it.  I know that his ashes are simply a shell of who he was, but it is so special to know that it was what was left of him.  It was so neat to "hold" them....we all took turns putting the ashes in the hole where the tree would go. Brandon said a couple things. And then we each took turns shoveling dirt on the tree and around the tree.

It was so peaceful. And amazing. And beautiful.
I'm so glad we did it.

(enjoy the photos from my sweet friend Sarah H. She came and was a part of it...and took photos..)

These sweet boys are 8 (the twins: Adam and Ethan) and 10 (Evan).  When I began helping their mom in college, the boys were two months and Evan was 2!!

The tree is in front, then the cross, then you can see down the hill (the farm house)

"He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.  He counts the stars and calls them all by name.  How great is our Lord! Our power is absolute!  His understanding is beyond comprehension!  ..No, the Lord's delight is in those who fear him, those who put his hope in his unfailing love."

Psalm 147:3-5,11