Sunday was so fun.
I was laying there with AG
watching a movie flat on my back (a no-no, but I really love to lay on my back) and I see my belly moving. I try to hold it still, but it is moving. At the top. So Bizarre. Little B is just kicking and pushing around, exploring. It's just crazy to have a person growing inside of you. Such an amazing,
special thing.I'm glad I am able to experience this. Even right now as I lay down to write, he is making my belly move. So I take the pillow and computer off my stomach and sure enough, there he is. Jumping around. Active like his dad.
AG didn't believe me. He thought it was my muscles or something. No way. This is all our little man.
Yesterday we had a memorial for our five fallen soldiers this rotation. It is heartbreaking. One of the guys was AG's good friend and workout partner. He spoke at the memorial. It was tough to watch. We hung out with the family all day and into the night. My friend B, who was married to J, the guy who passed, is an amazing, strong, incredible woman. We shared our thoughts on faith and loss. It was encouraging to hear her story of loss and the way she is working through it. The day I found out he passed away, I called her. She was worried about ME, asking how I was doing with the recent news of the BABY's CONDITION. Goodness. What an unselfish person...to think of that when she is in the midst of major grief herself!! Here is a picture I am embarrased to share but it makes me laugh...us and this sweet couple at the ball this past year.
Last night there were parents (who I know) of a guy who passes away two rotations ago. They still come around a lot and they are wonderful people. They are even from KENTUCKY! So you know they're great! I really enjoyed spending time with them. The dad of this guy told me, "I had 27 years with my son, you won't have any.. He said that someone told him that who lost their baby and it changed his whole perspective on his loss. He told me to find something positive and hold on to it. Something that will make me grateful for what I have". He made me cry. He was awesome and wonderful. I feel such a community with others who have lost and are believers. It is not a club I wanted to join, but I feel honored to be a part of it.
Today I went to see a counselor. It was AWESOME. It felt good to talk. It was almost like talking to many of you, she was a very understanding and sweet, godly woman. I loved chatting with her. Processing. I am looking forward to continuing my sessions!! I told her that I think I have gone through a lot of the grieving process but I think I will start over when he passes away. She agreed. She told me to go ahead and plan and think about the memorial. We already are. We want to have everything in place. Who knows how I will process and deal with the loss. It will be tough. But that will be one thing I won't have to think through.
I am having a good day, but I'm tired from all the festivities of the memorial yesterday. Since I take AG to work right now (one car family), I have to get going very early. I only got about 5 hrs of sleep. I used to be able to do that, but not anymore! So, I'm going to go workout, then curl up with my naughtiest dog Bella for a nap. Then back to post for a change of command. Lots going on....but really good times...
I hope you're having a FANTASTIC WEEK!
PS....if you are interested in knowing about the LOVE SHOWER, and you didn't get an invitation, we ran out...so just let me know and I will give you the details. That sounds totally pretentious like I think everyone would want to give me things that make me feel loved, but seriously...I'm not trying to be :)
PPS...if you're trying to figure out a gift...I have no clue what to tell you. Gift cards will probably be fun to have (massages, pedicures, etc.) or just google AMY BUTLER or put it into ETSY. I love this etsy shop (pretty much anything in it), this clutch, this print, , Easy, right? Well, and since you (didn't) ask... I also think these are adorable (I will have more children, but things like this would/will always remind me of B) and these.