Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Bittersweet

Main Entry: bit·ter·sweet
Pronunciation: \ˈbi-tər-ˌswēt\
Function: noun
1 : something that is bittersweet; especially : pleasure alloyed with pain

There are a lot of bittersweet things lately.
Let's start with my dog, Buoy.
He's so cute. So sweet. So adorable.
But He is NAUGHTY.
He is sneaking out of our fence all the time.  He literally tears that fence up. He hides under the bed all the time and growls at me. I give him baths every day because he is so muddy from trying to dig his way out of the backyard. Oh, Buoy...He makes me so mad.  But I just love him.


Bittersweet...
Although I'm allowed to drink Starbucks again, my drink no longer tastes good to me. So sad. Might not seem so to you......but really....I loved that drink!
Bittersweet...
Picture Taking. For some reason, lately, I just cant' get things to be in focus...I can't get the lighting correct....I just can't make it right. Why? it could be that I did something to mess up my camera (very likely) or that I need to spend more time with it (also likely)....or I could be un-focused...but it makes me sad to miss special moments because I am not a proficient photographer.
Bittersweet.....
Celebrating the sweetest friends and babies... who I LOVE SO DEARLY.  EnjoyIing them and enjoying the act of celebrating.  I cannot wait to meet Catherine and Adam's baby..."Little Miss" since they are having trouble deciding on a name we are calling her that for now :)  I LOVE LOVE LOVE Emma Jane....Rebecca and Travis' baby...she is awesome.  She is adorable and tiny and sweet.

Knowing that my sweet Briar will not be truly celebrated....people won't be able to pass him around and hold him at a party...that is tough.  I know that we will have other babies, but it is bittersweet to know that our little man is not going to have a long life here on earth.  He will go straight to be with the savior of the world...and he'll miss out on this world and the things in it.  I guess I consider that quite a blessing...and I love that I will meet him there and spend the most time with him there.  AG and I went to the doctor on Monday and we got to see the sweet guy kicking around and moving like crazy. It was wonderful! We loved seeing that. We also saw the problem. It has not changed. I definitely prayed for healing. For change. Unfortunately that is not what we saw. But I feel as though the Lord has told me this is his purpose for this baby.  And it is not to be fixed, but to show others that he and his mom can persevere and seek JOY in the midst of pain.

To tell you the truth...I have been having a tough time lately.  It feels so overwhelming.
But I know we will make it! But if you know anyone with a pool...I could use some relaxing days.. :)

Love to all....


 

1 comment:

  1. I've commented before and I just wanted to let you know that you are still in my thoughts and prayers.

    I have a friend that lost a little girl shortly after birth. Her faith and story is inspiring.
    Today she posted about her journey to the Deeper Still Conference w/ Beth Moore where she and 8 other girls gather to celebrate their little ones short lives. I thought you might enjoy reading.

    Emily, my friend, is one of the people that the Lord has placed here on Earth to show us that there is pain, but there is also joy. :)

    http://fourgirlsonegod.blogspot.com/


    Love from KY,
    Brittany

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