Saturday, May 15, 2010

You are my sunshine!

Today I finished framing one of my favorite prints.
I think it is only logical. I need to focus on the sunshine right now.
Because I feel like I'm in the pits of a storm right now.
I just want to lay on the pallet bed with buoy and cry. 
But I  won't. What will that accomplish?
I know that God is good. I don't have to love the circumstance. But God uses our situations to shape us.
I will persevere toward the goal to win the prize that God has called me toward. In the meantime, I will pray like cray to see my husband :)

Let me tell you about yesterday. It was a nice Friday morning. I got up and went for a run. Then I met up with my friend Catherine and went to see the genetic counselor at the old grandpa's office. I was supposed to have met with her last week when my mom was here but I think they forgot about me :)  
She gave me some hard truth that I did not want to hear. But it was good to know. It was sad and hard  and BLAH. But I heard it. And I cried a little. And then Cathehrine drove me home. Thank goodness for sweet friends who stand beside you in your tough days. I am in some tough days. They will get better. The Lord will allow good to come from this. I know it. But it doesn't mean every moment will be good.
Then I drove to Atlanta. Well, actually, an hour north of Atlanta in Cumming, GA. I picked up my wonderful mother in law Jenny near the airport and then we headed up to the appointment. We didn't have time to eat when we got there and we were starving. Our appointment was at 1:30. Too bad we didn't realize that we would be there until almost 5pm. I didn't have much of an appetite during the appointment though. 

Luckily, my amazing, incredible, sweetheart of a husband called and stayed on the phone for about an hour and a half of the appointment. I feel lucky for that. It can't be fun when you have to listen to an ultrasound. There isn't any talking. At one point, I said, "it's so big!" and he said (on speaker phone) "You must be talking about his genetalia". Jenny and I both said, "BRANDON!". The ultrasound tech (poor lady) did not know what to do. (PS...we do not know if it's a boy or girl) At another point during the appointment, Brandon told the doctor, "It's okay, we will recover from this, but we're going to keep popping out babies..." Oh my goodness, I thought I was going to crawl under the table. Shock humor at it's best.
I wore my cute new Cynthia Vincent for Target gladiator shoes. Everyone at the doctor loved them. The pharmaceutical rep in the lobby asked if they were Michael Kors. :) Then all the ladies working there were oohing and ahhing. It made the day start off well :) the pic below is almost the exact shoe...except it is Cynthia Vincent's designer brand for $405. I got mine for $29.99. Go Target!!
Alright, so anyway...I went in that room and I just had a feeling we were going to be confirmed. And we were. In fact, it looked very clear to me this time. The head just stops and it doesn't round out. It's hard to explain, but it's almost as if someone just  lopped off the top of the head, but all the arms and legs and everything else works fine. Bizarre.
It seems I am life support for the baby.
AGAIN the doctor was amazing. Sweet, heartfelt, and BOY did he let us ask questions. He let Brandon, my mother in law, and I ask questions for about an hour. Ridiculous. Most doctors would be running out the door. He was awesome. Just melted my heart. I mean...those are the people that you are so thankful for. They hate to give you the news that they are...but they are kind and caring and not in a rush to push you out. I promise I am going to write this guy a thank you note to tell him how much that meant to me. He also did a chromosome test on me to see if this is a chromosomal issue or just a neural tube defect.   It won't matter too much to us, as we will try, try again in the future. But I like information. I like to know what we're we can be educated in the future. The doc felt pretty certain it was a neural tube defect, not chromosonal. That is about 1 in 10000.  
Lucky me. Just kidding. No need for mean sarcasm, God. I apologize.
I kept telling Brandon sorry it was taking so long and he said, "I'm here for you baby. I've got all the time in the world.". I mean...really? Do I deserve that kind of husband? He is amazing. I am so thankful for his support from afar.
But for now, we pray. We wait. And we hurt. But we're going to make it. Please know that. The Lord has us in his hands. He knows our every step. He placed this baby in my womb. He has created it, flaws and all.
We know his will is perfect and good. We don't have to understand it.
Someday, I will look at God in heaven...and ask him WHY it had to be this way. But until then...
Off to enjoy the rest of my Saturday.
I hope you enjoy yours as well!


  1. Let me start by saying...I love the print you framed! Ian has always called me his sunshine...and sings the song to me I love that! Also...I love the Target shoes! I bought two pair of adorable shoes from there the other day as well...Target is awesome!

    Keep your head up girl! It's such an awesome picture of who God is to read something like this and see that you are pushing through regardless of the situation! It's people like you that show people that God is real and that there is hope. We love y'all and are praying for y'all every step of the way.


    Watch this video and song on youtube!!! He will help you carry on! We must go through the valley in order to get to the mountain of God!!! Wow what a great truth and reality of God! Read also the quotes below the video!!! What an inspiration! I love you guys!

  3. Love you beautiful friend. You are so strong, and I look forward to seeing how the Lord continues to draw you to Himself through this season. Praying for you & B in the months to come. I'm confident when you stand before the Lord holding your sweet baby, you will already know why before you ever even have to ask. I love you so much.