{mr.finn} four months

This child is mine, so I'm a bit partial.
But really?
Does it get cuter?
I love this guy so much.
4 months old.
He is DROOLY (is that even a word?)...which is quite clear from these photos.
He loves sperry's. Well...maybe his mom does. :) But either way, he is ready to be on the boat this summer.
He is getting more hair.
He loves to dress up :)

Overall...I love spending my days with him.
I literally miss him when he takes naps.
Pathetic, i am aware.
But, I'm not missing a moment. and I feel lucky for that.  I didn't get these moments with briar. I don't get them with eli.  So i'm soaking them up with finn. every one of them.

FInances aren't the prettiest thing around here.
I quit my job, which I loved...and which paid pretty well..
Brandon is weeks away from leaving the army for a much lower paying job.
But we somehow feel content.
I'm not sure how all the bills will get paid.
Well, yes I am.
God is clear about his commands. And so we will follow him, even when it seems scary.
I am tempted to apply for jobs.
Starbucks?! I should work there just to pay for the habit...
But I feel like God has us in a season of waiting, of trusting...
So, we are doing that.

Without further suspense...our sweet boy...

I realize these are a tad blurry, but it's worth it to me for the sweet smiles :)

Gosh...

 I LOVE IT.
I love spending time with this guy.
Focusing more on ministry and on God's purpose for my life.
Poor and happy.
Yep, I think I'd rather be that than Rich (or well off) and not content.
Let's be honest that this is going to be a battle.
Satan knows my weakness...that I covet other people's houses..stuff...abilities..

I am embarrassed to share this story, because this friend reads the blog (Hi t!), but for the sake of authenticity, here we go...

It started out a normal movie/switch date night. One couple goes to a movie, babysitting the children and then in the same night, you switch children, and the other couple hits a movie. PERFECT. Well, as I sat in this beautiful, clean, organized, well decorated house...I began to play the game of comparison. Wow, she is a wonderful house keeper. Wow, her house sure is organized. I'm so impressed with her style. She has such nice things (which she later told me were mostly from garage sales...see...darn comparison...). She decorates so well. she keeps up with a scrapbook of photos. She has an organized and beautiful bookcase. She has a simple and clean baby room. And in every one of these thoughts, I heard Satan..."you're not good enough", "You're not enough", "you will never be a good mom", "you will never be a good wife", "you will never cook like her", "you will never be this organized". And after sitting down when the kids were asleep, Brandon sat down to watch a movie, and I sat down and cried. In the middle of this beautiful living room. I let the lies of Satan permeate my heart. And I hate that.

Why do I allow that to happen? Because I do not listen to God's promises for me.
I am a great mom.
Perfect? NO. Great? yes!
God has given me everything I need to be a great mom and wife.

One of the things I LOVE about our church...and our pastors..is the way they focus on living in your STRENGTHS. Don't try to live in the things you don't thrive in. I should never strive to be the most organized person in the world. It is not my strength. So I will try to remain organized enough to function well, but I don't need to be the best. In eternity someday, will God judge me on my cleanliness, cooking, or my organizations skills?!? NO! Will be judge me on the way my child serves the Lord? YES! On the way I served him? Yes! On the way I shared in my blessings with others? YES! None of that has anything to do with my house. Or my faults. So, that night was good for me. I left that house feeling encouraged. Although my house doesn't look anything like that...it is US. it is eclectic. And although not messy...it has craft supplies peeking out of cupboards sometimes..and books sitting on shelves..but it is US. So I'm okay with it for now.

But, I might like to have her over to help me re-arrange things...

The way I work..

Have you ever had a major realization about the way you function?
Hanging out with my dad makes me realize that I am just like him!
My dad is awesome.  But I will tell you that I notice the things about him that are hard for me....
I am interested in many things.
I am very creative minded, and very talented in some areas with my hands (working with things, crafting..his is more construction/woodworking and mine is more just crafty..)
We have lots of interests and love to research things.
But we are all over the place.

ALL. OVER. THE. PLACE.

A typical trip through my brain in a given morning would be this.
Are you ready? You might be scared. You might respect me less.
I do not finish tasks.
I need some help learning to function with my strengths (creativity, thinking outside the box, etc...) while allowing my mind to FOCUS and accomplish tasks...

I am going to go to the kitchen to make some coffee.
On the way there, I see a dirty sock, so I take it with me to the laundry room, which is near the coffee maker. On the way to the laundry room, I see the computer and decide I should check my email. When I am checking my email, I realize I should probably check the bank balance.  Ooh, I should probably pay bills while I am here, I think.  When I walk to the desk to get the bills, I see a mess on the dining room table.  I take that stuff to the sink and clean it.  When I try to put the things in the dishwasher, I realize it is full of clean dishes.  Oh, well...I need to return to the computer, I'll have to finish it later.  I return to the email and notice an email from two days ago I haven't answered. When I am answering that, about halfway through, I notice I still have some photos up from last night on my desktop. They are so cool, I should probably work on them, I think. When I have been doing that for about 10 minutes, I realize I still haven't had any coffee. When I stand up, the sock falls out of my lap and I realize I wanted to take it to the laundry room. I stand up and take it to the laundry room and I notice all the clean laundry. I re-start the dryer and decide I should fold that load when I finish making my coffee, so I will warm it up so I can fold it and make it wrinkle free. When my coffee is done, I walk back to the computer, where I think I should go ahead and look for recipes for dinner. Instead of doing that, I notice my email open where I proceed to answer the last email I was working on. As I am answering that, I think about my frined Susie in California, and I think that I should check what she is doing on facebook so I can ask her that question I was thinking about, before I forget.  Oh man, but what was that question?  Oh gosh, I better go get my crying baby..... and that is the end of the task run around until I think of something new, and then inevitably make my way back to some/most of these tasks...


Seriously, no joke, that i just a glimpse.
As I wrote this blog post, I sat here, but I checked facebook, uploaded pics to facebook, tinkered with photos on Photoshop, came back to this post, went back to facebook, went back to photos, rocked my baby, got up to have a brownie (yep, I know, do I want to lose the baby weight or not?!), came back to the blog post, and now here I am.

If you are like me, and have found a way to be successfully productive and organized, will you help me?  SOme of you are much more naturally 'task oriented"...where you must complete one before moving to the next (my hubby..).  This is so much more efficient, but it is not how my mind works...  but remember that I could take it personal...so be nice :)

A post isn't a post without pictures, and since I haven't shown you Finn in a while, here are some pictures back at five weeks (yep, a whopping two weeks ago)

A big belly... and a long torso, that makes our three month clothes not fit, at five weeks...


This round face makes me laugh.  Looking at baby pictures though, it looks like pops (Brandon) had the same shape face as a baby!

And then where we like to hang out, on the floor of the nursery