Focused on one another...again..

I love this man.  

Glad he loves me during these days of limited showers, baby drool, etc.

Wow.  Our 7th Valentines Day married.

We have had many more than that dating and knowing each other.

We have been through a lot, especially the past two years.

Lost a child. Had our first living child. Gone through a long adoption.

no excuses. but facts.

Dealt with our last deployment, tried to learn what it meant to "reattach" emotionally.

This was harder than we thought...

And we are still working on it.

The Army is VERY SUCCESSFUL at training soldiers to detach from their emotions.

To get things done effectively with no emotion attached.

Especially in the infantry.

With all men.

Even more so in the group of Rangers B worked with.

This is to be expected.

But we are trying to be aware and reconnect.

Now, knowing that he will never leave again.

It makes us so happy.

It is what we have always hoped for.

But we finally can let our guard down.  I think that until now, my heart's goal was to stay disconnected so that it wouldn't be so hard when he left again.  I think he feels the same way, but  more on a day to day basis, where h doesn't attach as much each day, because he is used to this with the guys.  If they get annoyed with something he does, he doesn't care...because emotions aren't involved in the army.

In addition, whether you are married to someone in the military or not, a manly man or not...whether he is old or young, tall or short...he is a man.

and you are a woman.

which makes you different.

in many ways.

We communicate differently. We talk differently.

We relate differently.

But at the end of the day, we just need LOVE.

I remember when we went through premarital counseling with our dear friends and Brandon's discipler at the time, they had one child and were going through marriage counseling.

At the time, I thought we would never be at that place.

We went through counseling during Briar.

We're not in counseling now.

But, we are pursing each other.

We are trying to put our selfishness away, and really serve one another.

Because we can see how marriage becomes a isolated, selfish thing.

And neither of us wants that. 

We want a partership.  To LOVE one another with actions, not just words.

 "You and me against the world", is what Brandon used to always tell me.

I love it.

Valentines Day fell at a great time this year. 

We are finally back on our feet after baby.

Just in time to really re-focuson one another.

I'll be honest. i don't really care for the "holiday".

Commercialized crap. 

Everything I do not like about 'holidays'. 

But, this year, it serves to help refocus us on our marriage.

And THAT is worth any commercialized crap. :)

We needed it.

We LOVED going on a date. It reminded us that it needs to be a priority every week. 

EVERY WEEK.

So, thank you to the commercialized, over done day.

Because it helped us realize that we can have so much more for our marriage. 

A marriage that we have allowed to slip a little in the past two years. 

Don't get me wrong, we are doing fine. But I think if we aren't always on the road to pursuing each other and pursing a righteous, God focused relationship, we will FAIL miserably...

I am encouraged today :)

My in laws sent a small vday gift that allowed us to go on a date.

We got flowers and candy from my parents, which we enjoyed together before we left.  

And we left this guy with our friend Bryan's parents. His Georgia grandparents. 

SORRY GIGI and GRAMMY. TIME TO MOVE!!

And thank you, Whitmores, for offering us a night date this weekend, since our Tuesday date was a afternoon quick dinner... :)  That makes us smile!

MY SWEET SECOND VALENTINE.  My four month old boy. Nothing beats that smile.

My Valentine.

I feel entitled to be sappy today. Because I am married to an incredible husband. He is sweet and incredibly thoughtful. He is usually gone on Valentines Day. I am so used to him being deployed, it feels out of the usual to actually celebrate together.  He says that tonight is a surprise, and I can't wait.  {in the meantime, my second graders are keeping me happy with a ridiculous amount of chocolates..}

So, today, I am going to spend my day feeling thankful for my amazing husband and the incredible gift that he is in my life.  So thankful to have found him....freshman year of high school...in his unattractive dirt bike jersey :)

Please don't judge me...

but we're going to take a trip.
It's much needed.
Necessary.
Something to get away.

I think I told you that Brandon isn't working right now. Neither am I. It's a first in our marriage. It is GREAT for our marriage, especially considering what we are going through. I would say that I am healing really well. But some days are sad. Not weepy sad, but just lonely sad. I'm not lonely because I'm alone. My hubby is home with me. But I am without my child. And sometimes that is just lonely.
We are going to get away for a couple weeks.
We're going to try to catch a military hop to Europe. But if we can't, we're going to go somewhere.  The dogs are staying with grandparents.  But if you want to break into my house, someone will be here, so don't get excited.  Valuables won't be here. Well, most of our stuff is from thrift stores anyway, so you won't find too many fancy things here :)
I guess I'm asking you not to judge me because I do have kids. 19 of them. They are in a classroom on Fort Benning. Sometimes I feel like I"m letting them down by being away. Doing something wrong, almost. I have calculated it, and even if I come back at the latest possible time (which I'm not planning on), my class and I will still have six months together, plus the month plus more that I was already there. So I shouldn't worry. But I do. I don't want the parents of my kids in my class to stress. I don't want my kids to struggle in reading and writing. But I know they won't. I will get them where they need to be. And who made me in control all of a sudden?
All this time I have chosen to trust the Lord. To trust in his perfect timing.
So why do I try to control this part?
Maybe because it feels like something I can control and manipulate. Silly me.
I have NEVER been in control.
I'll be posting, but it might be more sporadic :)

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. Selah. The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our stronghold. Selah. Psalm 46:1-3,7

‘Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control. 2 Tim 1:7 (AMP)

So, I'm going to have some scheduled posts going up while I'm gone. Could be two weeks. Could be three. I'll try to check in from there. But no promises. It's a vacation, after all.