Parenting children is an adventure, but parenting a child of a different race has proved (already) to create some awkward moments and interesting times.
Right now it's not an issue because Eli doesn't understand language. But as we move forward, it's going to get tougher.
I am still navigating how I should approach people and their questions about my boys. I am happy they want to talk. I often want to share about adoption, because it is something amazing and worth talking about. But as he gets older, I definitely don't want him constantly hearing me talking about "Eli is adopted". Although we will tell him, I don't want it to be his identity.
Yesterday at the grocery, a lady said, "How far apart are they?" and I said, "Nine months", and she said, "Wow, you're just like my sister, can't stop having babies". And that hurt my feelings, so I (selfishly) said, "Well, this sweet guy is adopted, so I didn't actually have babies that close together" (Which frustrates me....why do I feel like I have to qualify his origins? I should just let people judge me, rather than continually restate that he is adopted. I don't want to constantly tell people that when he is aware of language...) She then proceeded, "Wow, well he looks mixed. I thought he was yours". I responded, "He is mine...but I know what you mean". AGH. The balance is tough to find!
in other news:
my house is a mess. Now i get it, people.
When I had a small, non mobile infant, I thought, "What were these people talking about?" "It's not that hard to keep my house clean :)". Oh gosh. Once again, I am humbled.
We had friends over last night who have no kids, and aren't even thinking about it.
It made me want to crawl under our table. There are half done craft projects laying around, toys that aren't totally put away, dishes in half of the sink, laundry on top of the machine....oh my goodness. So overwhelming at times! But, at the end of the day, I'd rather have friends over in my messy house...rather than the alternative.
But we've all been there. We're all there.
Glad to walk through it with other people I know!
I am getting certified to do group fitness. I am also leading a (free) bootcamp in the fall through our church growth group, hoping to meet some new people and practice teaching a bit. I got suckered into an olympic distance triathlon in a week and a half. I haven't ridden my bike since BEFORE BRIAR. That's right people....probably late 2009. I got pregnant with Briar in January 2010. Had him September 2010. Got pregnant with Finn early 2011. Had him October 2011. I haven't been back on that bike. The olympic tri is 20 miles. This should be fun :)
In the spirit of updates, I'll keep going.
I have been discipling college girls all summer. It has taken me back to the days of old. The days when we didn't have much going on. But it felt like we did. These girls are on top of it and eager to learn. And I have loved every minute of teaching them. We went through CRU's discipleship stuff....so it was familiar to me. Talking a lot about relying on the holy spirit to walk through day to day. That we are unable to figure out this life alone, without guidance from the Lord. We are trying to memorize James 1 (truth be told, i am slacking from the James study I did with Beth Moore and I'm trying to get them to help me do my memorization...)
Alright, busy editing photos for a friend and doing a quick quiet time with the end of this nap!
I am still navigating how I should approach people and their questions about my boys. I am happy they want to talk. I often want to share about adoption, because it is something amazing and worth talking about. But as he gets older, I definitely don't want him constantly hearing me talking about "Eli is adopted". Although we will tell him, I don't want it to be his identity.
Yesterday at the grocery, a lady said, "How far apart are they?" and I said, "Nine months", and she said, "Wow, you're just like my sister, can't stop having babies". And that hurt my feelings, so I (selfishly) said, "Well, this sweet guy is adopted, so I didn't actually have babies that close together" (Which frustrates me....why do I feel like I have to qualify his origins? I should just let people judge me, rather than continually restate that he is adopted. I don't want to constantly tell people that when he is aware of language...) She then proceeded, "Wow, well he looks mixed. I thought he was yours". I responded, "He is mine...but I know what you mean". AGH. The balance is tough to find!
I am in Week 6 of the Beth Moore James study right now! I'm really trying to stand in faith on the idea that God is the one in control and His plans are SOOO much more awesome than the plans I try to make for myself. I guess as a teacher, I just like things to be organized and planned ahead, including my life and timeline. Trying hard to walk with the Holy Spirit each and every day!
ReplyDelete"I thought he was yours?" UGH. Makes my blood boil. My least favorite is..."Whose baby?" I want to scream...MINE!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely need a phone date!
I would totally attend your boot camp if we were still there! I need a boot in this bootie!
ReplyDeleteThe boys...I die...so stinking adorable!
Have you considered speech therapy for Eli? I know it's the language but it may help! They are trained to do masses of things!
Oh people and their dumb {perhaps well-intended} comments. People always tell us, "Oh, at least he looks like you!!" referring to Aiden...because if he didn't, what? We wouldn't love him? He wouldn't be our son? Sigh...You are doing a great job! Love you and your boys. Tons.
ReplyDeleteSome people just say ridiculous things - no matter what the situation. It is inevitable. SIGH. Worry less about your response to them and more about your laundry - haha.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the world of the "trashed" house. As a former neat freak with vacuum lines, I welcome you to the world of sticky floors and dust. You are lightyears ahead of me though - I close the blinds and pretend we aren't home.
I am sincerely inspired by the awesome things you do, my friend!
brookie you are such a trooper!!! i smile at the thought of a messy house- it means a life well lived and a happy family (in my estimation)! :) the boys are so precious...i have to tell you sometimes i'm not sure what to ask people and i don't want to make a statement that i've assumed in my head, so i usually don't say anything at all....the nerve of some people though! AGH!!!
ReplyDeletegirl- i wish i had the motivation to do what you do! finally signed up for my first race/5k and it's the stinking Color Run
(i'm excited but it's funny because it's not even timed/doesnt matter)! HA!