Just a crazy redemption revelation

First of all, thank you for your encouragement about EVERYTHING!! I love hearing about things that you go through, and how you relate to me. Even if my add mind doesn't always respond, I really really appreciate you sharing your stuff with me.

On a funny note, as I was writing this title, I was writing "crazy" and wrote "cray"...and I keep hearing these middle schoolers say "cray cray" instead of crazy and it makes me laugh so hard, just like omg used to. So...here I go...my cray cray redemption story.
Why does middle school reality make me want to join in? Getting too old...

This story has to do with my sweet Briar, and my new little man Eli.  Finn isn't involved in this story as much, although you know if you have read this blog for any time at all, that he is just the light of our lives at the moment ;)

 

As you know, (hopefully), we lost our first son, Briar, last year in September 2010. He was due in November 2010. You can read about the story here.  We started our adoption process a while ago.  You can see some of the process here.  Which, by the way, I'm not sure why I said in that post, "we got a referral".  More like "We got a child!!!" :)  Anyway, we always asked for a young child in our referral, we were thinking under 12 months.  Not long before we got our referral, our agency called just to double check where we felt like the Lord was leading us.  We said we really felt like up to two years old would be appropriate, we just wanted our children to be close together in age.  I had trouble with this, because I really wanted a young child, to make the transition easier (<---selfish) but I felt like I should be open to older, for whatever reason.  Brandon definitely felt open to that.  The night we got our referral, I really felt like she was going to say it was a child around 12 months.  Sure enough, she said that our child was around 13 months.  His age was estimated, so we actually don't know for sure, although he does have an estimated birthday.

I was talking to a friend at the gym.  A sweet, wonderful guy married to the funniest, sweetest friend I know.  She reminds me so much of Sarah Clore :)  Anyway, her hubby and I were talking about how I was bringing home a toddler, and I was nervous.  We were talking about toddler behavior, and I said he was about 13 months.  He said, "THat is the same name as Ezra".  I froze for a moment.  Because, you see, Ezra is one of those kids that most of the time I have no problem seeing, but sometimes I do, because he had the same due date as Briar.  Of course Briar was born early, but they had the same due date. So, for a while, I would look at Ezra and think "that would be how old Briar would be".  Things are not like that anymore, as now I see him and just think he is sweet and kind and cute, and that is not my first thought...

Anyway...here is the crazy redemption part.  God knew this.  He knew that he would be giving us a baby that was Briar's age.  not to replace Briar in anyway.  But to bring his story full circle.  To ease my fear of raising a toddler by saying, "I have already equipped you to raise a toddler...Briar...".  I feel like God has been clear that this is no accident.  It is the story he has written.  A beautiful story...that I feel blessed to be a part of!   Eli Matthew....we cannot wait to meet you in a little more than three weeks!!

On another note, if you have adopted, or know people who have, do you know anyone who does fund raising or offers help with that? We are applying for the "both hands" project through lifesong, as well as a local grant through an adoption agency in our community. We applied for money through an awesome place, jscfoundation.com, but they do not offer money for travel.  Unfortunately, those are the only expenses we have left.  We are going to do a fundraiser with some things we buy in Ethiopia.  we are also going to do more t-shirts. But other than that...it is time to get busy...we only have about $7000 left for expenses, and about $12000 or more left in expenses.  Just wondered if you have any ideas?

and one last note...I did zumba for the first time today. And I won't lie, I really enjoyed shaking it a little :) but I didn't sweat like I would in spin class or after a run. It was a workout though...so I'll take it! Have you ever done it?  Will I sweat more after I start to get it? I felt like half the time I was lost with choreography..