Thursday, December 1, 2011

Missing Eli, learning about giving.



I miss my child.
Does that sound dramatic?
I don't even know him yet.
I don't know his face.
I don't know where he lays his head at night.
I don't know how old he is.
But my heart aches for him.

I know that once I have him, I might long for my family the way it was...the ease of having only one child. I am not naive to know that we have a hard journey coming...
But the Lord has pushed my (our) heart(s) to adopt, and there is no going back.  There is no denying that we are bringing a little boy home from Ethiopia.  Right now we are trying to wait patiently

The andersons adopted sweet elsa earlier this year.  It seemed so dreamy and fairytale...but I know there are challenges ahead.  She says it well. Scary. But honest. I am scared to death of having to choose to love my child...through some hard things.  But, adoption is something that God has chosen to do for us. To adopt us into his kingdom. When we were orphaned, deserving NOTHING. He chose to send his son to die for us.  So, I strongly believe that he has called the body of Christ to do something about the orphan crisis in our world.  He says he will not leave us as orphans.  I think we're called to reach out. And specifically, in our (the whitis family) case, we are called to bring one of these sweet babies home. And very possibly do it several times, maybe in the states next time.

There are tons of things I am scared about regarding adoption.  Will love come naturally? What if he doesn't love us back?  What if he remembers his biological mom and would rather have her?  What if our child is not cute? Oh gosh, you know you've thought about it.  What would we feel? Would it be like a biological child where you just think they are cute anyway? Or will I see his photo and think, "oh wow, he's not the cutest child.."... :)  I know I will choose to love him no matter what, but I wonder what those emotions will be.

In other thoughts..

The Lord has really been pushing me lately. To give of my time and energy to the 'least of these'.  I'm not being cheesy, I just really have felt burdened.  I am looking for places in my town to invest, without just driving around and looking for homeless people. Although, i am going to buy some gift cards to mcdonalds, so at least I can give them out when they come up to me at the gas station (every day).
I think the urging to help was really pushed and challenged when I began reading this book.
Have you seen it?  Kisses from Katie...
Maybe you have seen her blog? I have been following it for years, Amazima.  You can find her blog there. Just incredible. And inspiring.



She inspires me to know God more. To pursue him more.  Brandon and I both have a heart for international missions, as well as meeting needs in the United States.  I wonder what that is going to look like for us in the next coming years.  It may be California.  It may be Africa. It may be Kentucky.  Who knows...but my heart is to continue to pursue meeting the needs of those who are less fortunate.  Katie makes me want to adopt 2 ,  10...

Have I shown you these pictures yet? I probably have.
I took these (first two) when sweet Finn was one week? two weeks?
Oh gosh, I don't even remember anymore...



taken by sweet Jessica Flynn: Capture Photography
Oh gosh, even looking at these, makes me long to meet my sweet boy in Ethiopia before he gets too big...I want to meet him now...when he is brand new.  Also: quick note; sweet finn has grown into his ears now :)

name
gray ric rac copy

4 comments:

  1. I had a thought last night reading through a part of Ezekiel. In it God was showing Ezekiel the rebuilt temple for when they get out of exile. I thought about how we're called the temple of God, and I've always thought that just meant that's where God inhabits. But I saw in Ezekiel the temple is also the place where sacrifice happens - we give and God restores.

    And I heard about Kisses from Katie on the radio the other day - she is amazing!

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  2. I VOTE CALIFORNIA!!! Please come, we miss our family!! I will start looking for a family farm ;)

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  3. As a mom to a biological child and 2 adopted children and 2 nieces we have guardianship of, you will love all of them intensely, walk thru fire for them, think they are the cutest, etc...that being said, they all do have distinct personalites and habits and quirks. The more kids you have, even though you love them all the same, you will have personality conflicts with some more than others. This is more prevalent as they get older. When my 12 year old was 4, we were great friends, now I have to remember how endearing she used to be and ignore the eye rolling and obstinance.....We can never truly know what impact losing your biological mother will have. That will play out over time, but in God's plan, they are chosen for us, long before the foundations of the earth and they are engraved in our hearts and we are also in theirs....Katie is amazing!

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  4. I love love love reading your blog Brooke! Finn is gorgeous! I also have a biological child and adopted child. I do mourn for all that time I missed with my daughter as she grew up in a different country...without me. It reminds me that "our" children really truly belong to the Lord and that, although we can't be there for them, He can be there and he is! He is holding your sweet boy tightly in his arms. Excited to continue following your amazing journey!

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