I am embarrased to admit that this week has been OUT OF CONTROL EMOTIONAL.
I hope you don't begin to hate reading my blog because it's too much of a downer. I don't mean to be a downer. I want to be real. Like I mentioned before, I don't like being in a low place. But I don't think it is somewhere I will stay. It is somewhere I will travel through to get to a happier place.
This week the first non-friend asked if I was pregnant. Most people wait for that moment. It was at the vet. I was on the phone and she was asking both Brandon and I. I think I might have sneered and made a face at her. I did not like her question. Leave me alone. Soon, I hope, I can share a little bit about my story.
It's kind of like my sweet friend E.
People ask her how she has lost weight....she loves to work out. They ask her what her trick is. They should not ask silly questions.
She tells them she has cancer.
It will be similar when people ask me about my pregnancy.
They will expect to hear sweet stories....expectancies....excitement.
Instead I will tell them it's a sweet boy. He is due this fall. And he is not expected to survive.
It's not their fault. I want to comfort them. But really...who needs the comforting?
But there is a reason the Lord has asked me to wait for now....and for now we will share his story.
It's like the time when I was in middle school and my mom asked this lady when she was "due". She replied that she was nor pregnant. I have never EVER asked someone that question since. You just never know...unless the person is wearing a shirt that says, "Baby on Board".....DON'T DO IT. If you are my friend.....do it. Ask. Let's talk. It makes it feel like he's real. If you see me on the street......don't ask. I might just tell you "NO. I'm just chubby in the stomach". :) haha! Imagine your face if I did that.
I want to share my camera strap tutorial...because it was super fun to do. But I'm not sure I can really explain it.
I want to edit the pictures of Catherine and Adam...but it hasn't happened yet :)
Monday I went with my friend Jess who is an AMAZING PHOTOGRAPHER. This is the second shoot I have been with her for. Another time, several weeks ago, my midwife's daughter had pictures taken right after I found out for sure about sweet Briar's condition. So I sat with her crying and laughing as we helped (watch) Jess take these of sweet .IVEY.
Instead of doing productive things lately, I like to look at fun blogs. There are a million. These are a couple that talk about Jesus and make me smile. Well most of them talk about Jesus. :)
Tonight I am happy. I made dinner (small victory) and we got ice cream with friends.
I had a GREAT swim this afternoon and a fun spin class this morning.
I only cried ONCE today. TOTAL VICTORY for this week :)
Most days this week it's been more like 4-22 times.
Overall...I'm feeling good!