Sundays are great...

I love church. It has a way of breaking down the walls around my heart. Don't get me wrong. Lately I can cry if you look at me the wrong way (which is very out of character).  But it breaks me down to a raw version of myself. A version who is present and available before the Lord. Today as my friend Louie got up and read Romans 8 (I think it was 28) and talked about how God never forgets us...leaves us....
Then they started this song...which I don't know if I have ever posted about. But I love it.

I just couldn't help it. I was just sobbing. He will never let go. Despite poor circumstance (in our opinion). Despite tough, sad, hard times. Oh, and I will still praise you Lord...even now. That part of the song just made me stop crying ....as I realized that it is my duty and my calling to praise him in the rain...in the storms of life. My mom had her arm around me (thank goodness for Moms) and I just couldn't hold back. I looked like a wacko but I did not care at all. I know the Lord has good plans. I know there are good things to come. I'm not mad. I am SAD.  I wish that this weren't what we were dealing with. But I know there will be good to come out of it. It just isn't good right this minute.
I have had some neat time in the word of God. I will be reading 5 proverbs a day with my husband, and we will be discussing over the phone. Just trying to cling to the Lord during this time when we know nothing else to do.
I will tell you some good news.
I had a latte today.

Oh boy, it made me smile.  

My midwife told me it was okay.
Little pleasures.

Then my mom and I went to Target. And we had fun shopping for cleaning supplies and bras. I also got a new running skirt, yay for that.  My mom has been a cleaning machine. It makes me smile.  Thanks Mom.  I can barely muster up energy to get off the couch. 
Really not loving the idea of going to school tomorrow. Some little child in my class said, "Mrs.W, someone said you were pregnant." and I replied, pointing to my stomach , "Do I look pregnant?".  She said, "No!".  So...I just left it there. I just can't bear sharing this crazy, hard journey with 20 sweet children who will not understand.
So, I push through. Loving this baby and the Lord. And thanking the Lord for the most amazing husband in the entire world.
Sunday is probably my favorite day of the week.
Except maybe Thursday because the office is on. :)
Thanks for your support friends. It means so much.