I am so thankful that you are reading this blog post. Be forewarned, I might be about to take out some frustration. Thanks for understanding. For still liking me. For reading on.
You are no fun. Where is your USA spirit? I do no love it when you tell me you will only give the military discount to my husband, the service member. What if he is serving our country right now? I am left behind which is the reason you can enjoy your warm bed tonight. Could I please have the darn discount, YMCA??? Grr. I really let you have it. I was really worked up. The puppy face and then the face bursting into tears ......yeah, I hope that showed you. .
Dear Older Ladies who will never grow up,
I'm sorry if you are still stuck in high school, but you're older than my mom. I am sorry that I didn't invite you to the baby shower of my friend, but it just so happens that you're not that nice to her. I'm not sure what to tell you other than, "Go tell someone who cares". Please don't chew me out in the hallway of our school. That actually embarrasses you more than me. I hope we can move forward from this.
Please stop attacking your crate. It's only going to leave you a bloody mess. And I'm still going to put you back in there, so you won't turn my whole house into a sea of pillow feathers. Know I love you. But I'm going to put some neosporin on your raw nose and stick you right back in. So please behave.
Dear Kate Gosselin,
I just want you to know that I was your fan until the end. I never gave up on you. I always defended you. I knew that deep down you were a nice person, but a stressed mom. After seeing you on DWTS, I think I was wrong. I think you really might be stuck up and hard to handle. Good luck with that.
Thanks for sending Jesus to die on the cross. (No, this is real, not sarcastic, God..) You paid for my life with that death. Thanks for knowing what my heart needs. For always being with me. Despite all the crazy people in the world, you are always there. Thanks for that. I really have loved celebrating Easter and spending time with other women who love you. It is so encouraging to me.
I hope you get your mail soon. You should be getting this. I think it will make you smile.