Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Thoughts on Babies?

Two of my great friends from work are pregnant. They will both probably go back to work. But it makes me think. A lot.
No, not about myself being pregnant.
But about my job choice after kids.
I truly don't know what I will do. I always thought I would stay home, at least while they are young. Enjoy the first steps. Those moments you just can't miss.
I still kind of think that.
But can I really handle it? I often ask myself that question. And I'm not sure of that either.
But I found this post today (an archived post)...that just made me think.
The title is "On Luck". I just had to link to it. Please read it. I never get many comments, but I would seriously like to know what people think about that. Are you offended when people work and make comments like that? Are you annoyed when stay at home moms act as if they have no choices? Because honestly, I relate more to the stay at home mom. If I stay home, I will give up a lot of income and security. A lot of my own, selfish desires to have a 'real' life. But...I suppose that is a choice that will come.
I know that God has a special plan for that.
It is probably revealed in my bible.
With some quiet prayer and thought, I will probably begin to understand.
So, as I walked in the door, with this on my mind....
This is waiting in the family room...

Look close. What do you see?
You're not sure?
Do you see bits of leather?
Mutilated pages?
Bite marks out of the four gospels?
That's right.
Bella ate the bible.
She just decided she was mad I was at work, and she ate it.
Is this a sign...
Will my kids feel this way too God?
It made me feel 50% ANGRY and 50% in love with her. Can you resist the face?

So, a good excuse for a cute new travel bible.
And, the debate rages on.
For now, I guess I've got a while to think on it. :)


  1. Brookie... I have a favorite pair of Ugg boots that this recently happened to (like yesterday)... Guinness is who is to blame! He is our chocolate lab.. he is just too sweet to get mad at as well!
    PS-I am still finding UGG fluff all over the place at my condo!

  2. Well in Jeremiah 15:16 he says, " I found your words and I ate them."

    I haven't read your link yet, but I will say this, you'll never regret raising your children, ever! I'll tell you what I think about your link after I read it!

  3. The link made me cry----no small feat you know. :) We really can't afford for me to stay home right now as we're busting our butts to be debt free before we buy a home. I am lucky to be able to nanny and take Harv with me. One of the few that has the best of both worlds. I don't make a ton of money, and I really would rather be at home all day with him (or have a career using my degree to make more money to pay off my school deb)t . But John and I are willing to do whatever we have to do to make sure I'm with him as much as possible. If my nanny job were gone tomorrow, we would just cut life down to the most bare bone basics so I could be with him.

    Right now, there are no fancy clothes (unless I find a sweet 75% off sale---thanks Limited!), no super sweet vacations, we don't go out to dinner very often. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. Someday very very soon, Harvey is going to be all grown up and on his own. And I don't want to look back and regret not holding him while I still could, not being there when he's sick, not teaching him everything I know and leaving other people to shape who he becomes. So, very worth all the sacrifice. They're only little for a VERY short amount of time. I have the rest of my life to buy a house, have nice things, travel the world, and do things completely for myself. And we will do all of that. Every now and then, I'm a bit jealous of what other people can afford to do/have. But then I remember, they don't have what I have. An incredible, supportive, loving husband, and the cutest kid I've ever seen. If I do say so myself. :)

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  5. Hey B,

    Read your post & link before I went to sleep last night. I found myself thinking about the questions you posed during my shower this morning.

    Ultimately I believe the decision is an intensely personal one, one that should not encourage judgement from others.

    Keep praying on your path, I have no doubt that you guys will make the right decision when the time comes. I'm going to expand my thoughts over @WhereintheWorld when I have a few free moments.

    ps - sry for the deleted comment...I had Japanese text on and boy did my last comment make NO sense!

  6. Just wanted to add something to make sure I don't sound like a total jerk. I'm speaking solely from my experience/opinion. I love sacrificing to stay home with Harv. But I also know plenty of women who sincerely love to work, thrive outside of the home, and still have excellent relationships with their children. It's healthy to have your own interests/things you do for yourself. It's all about fidning that balance for your life. I definetly do not judge women who love to work. Heck, that's how I've made a living for the last few years----taking care of children while mmom and dad are at work. :) You'll be great no matter what you do! Love you!

  7. I really, really, really want to stay at home. But I agree that I feel very judged and 'unmotivated' by some people who do choose to work. But, I think that is self imposed, not imposed by those friends. I think that deep down there is some sort of 'people pleaser' or 'worth scale' in my mind that tells me that I need to be working to be successful. I KNOW this is not true, intellectually, but there is something that just nags at me. Prayerfully, I will be at home with my kids, even if I am sacrificing a lot.

    Sarah, I can't believe that the article made you cry. I don't know if I have EVER seen that. :) I totally agree that sometimes it is hard to make that choice. My mother in law always says she only worked so her kids could have nice things. But I will counter that and say I might not work so my kids can have me (and I can have them) when they are so easily influenced and shaped.

    Wow, soap box. I'll stop. But thanks for the thoughts!!

  8. Brooke - I just had to comment on this. I found the article totally intriguing and hitting a very deep, personal spot in my own heart. This issue is very personal to me, for I have struggled with this question recently. I resigned from my teaching job mid-year (Thanksgiving) to stay home with our two babies. I struggled with the decision for months for the very reasons you talked about....there were many women at work that just "didn't get it" you know? But at the end of the day, the Lord doesn't let us rest until we listen to Him, and that's what happened to me. Do I feel like every mother needs to stay home? No. Do I feel absolutely like it's my duty? Yes. It's a joy, truly, to be the one who is here. But it's not easy. It's an absolute sacrifice - I mean I just finished my stinkin' Master's Degree a year ago- but it's what is best for our family at this time.

    I had a conversation with a friend of mine at church shortly after my last day at school and she was like, "I am so jealous! You are so lucky!" And I was dumbfounded by that. I told her, "You can do it too!" But the truth is...lucky? Because our income was cut in half? Because we can't join our friends, go shopping, eat out, buy new clothes...

    Anyway, I rant. I really wanted to say thanks for posting this. And trust the Lord will guide your steps. If you want to stay home and that's what is best for your family when that time comes, you'll know it.

  9. B, I just read this article and I agree with Jenny, it really touched my heart. When Justin and I agreed that I would stay home, we knew it would be hard and trust me, it is. It's like the girl that wrote that knew my heart! We rarely get to go on a date night or out with friends like we used to. Pay day comes and we have to make it stretch two weeks after paying all the bills...HOWEVER...I wouldn't change it for the world. To be able to spend time with Liam everyday and take care of him...dang. It's the BEST. But I know everyone is different. You will know what is best for you when the time comes :)

  10. Hey Brooke-
    Just wanted to tell you about an awesome book called "Feminine Appeal" by Carolyn Mahaney (CJ Mahaney's wife) for a Biblical perspective on motherhood, etc!! It is wonderful!