We bought this dress today for the funeral. It is black and white polka dots. It had this little pink belt. Beatriz, the sweet friend who lost her hubby :(, requested we wear some color. She is going to wear white. Our unit colors are red and black so we all agreed to do red and black. I had to figure out how to bring some red into this dress. I couldn't really wear a red dress, I thought that might be too bold.
So...
II just went to JoAnn's with my momma, after checking out all the local stores and finding zero red belts or shoes..and got red ribbon and a red flower. Easy, right? Five dollars later and I have some cute red for my dress. I guess this is my 12 week pregnancy shot. Sorry Brandon. I am not s howing per say...I just feel FAT. My stomach just feels yucky...not as firm as it was. Some people stay super adorable and just grow this flat and firm little bump.
Well those people are not me :)
I have come to terms with the fact that my life is not normal. God has called us to some NOT normal things, and I am okay with it. In fact, God has called us to some hard things right at this point in our lives. I went back to the doctor this morning. It didn't go any different than last Friday. They saw very similar things. I am not looking at a baby with full anencephaly yet, but they think there is something very wrong. I am going to Atlanta to see another specialist next week sometime. This will be a nice second opinion, although I loved this doctor (the sweet Grandpa..). Brandon was on the phone, which was sitting on my chest, so he listened to everything on speaker phone. He even asked questions, it was kind of cute. My mom was there too and I think she liked seeing my squirmy little baby. I mean this thing wouldn't even sit still to get a measurement, it was all over the place. I am just choosing to celebrate the life inside of me now. We are going to pray and seek God, and we return to see the sweet Grandpa in three weeks (the last week of school with kids). So, if I can survive until then, maybe we can get some more answers. It is still early. We are still praying. I hope you will join us.
Well those people are not me :)
I have come to terms with the fact that my life is not normal. God has called us to some NOT normal things, and I am okay with it. In fact, God has called us to some hard things right at this point in our lives. I went back to the doctor this morning. It didn't go any different than last Friday. They saw very similar things. I am not looking at a baby with full anencephaly yet, but they think there is something very wrong. I am going to Atlanta to see another specialist next week sometime. This will be a nice second opinion, although I loved this doctor (the sweet Grandpa..). Brandon was on the phone, which was sitting on my chest, so he listened to everything on speaker phone. He even asked questions, it was kind of cute. My mom was there too and I think she liked seeing my squirmy little baby. I mean this thing wouldn't even sit still to get a measurement, it was all over the place. I am just choosing to celebrate the life inside of me now. We are going to pray and seek God, and we return to see the sweet Grandpa in three weeks (the last week of school with kids). So, if I can survive until then, maybe we can get some more answers. It is still early. We are still praying. I hope you will join us.
ps...your kind words in comments, emails, facebook messages, text messages, etc keep me going. I even got a card in the mail from a sweet friend...Thanks Laurie :) This is showing me that we are going through this journey for a reason. I know that. But I really appreciate the encouragement. I might just shrivel up without it!
Love you all. Thanks for going with us through this rocky road.
