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My friend Kelsey has recently been convicted to live in gratitude. For example, she got a speeding ticket and chose to be thankful for what she did have...a car, an ability to drive, safe children, etc.
I struggle with this.
It is hard to be thankful when things are going "wrong". But aren't things always going wrong? it is just a matter of opinion, I think! So, I am going to choose to see things positively when I want to be frustrated. For example, I will choose to be thankful that Eli is healthy in Africa with loving caregivers and all the food, shelter and water he needs. I am thankful that his bed is right next to another bed, so he is getting interaction with another child. I am thankful that he should be good at "self soothing" since he has had to do that so much. I am thankful that he is OURS, whether we can be there with him or not.
How's that for gratitude? It took me a while to think of things to be thankful for. What I want to say is, "HOW CAN I BE THANKFUL TO NOT HAVE MY SON?". But I am choosing gratitude today.It has been eight weeks since we passed court.Many people have passed in 5-6 weeks. Many people have taken longer than 13 weeks. It is weird....trying to plan the summer and fall.I find myself telling people "Maybe...we'll have to see".For someone who already has a tough time committing to things, this makes me even worse.
Have I posted this yet? This was 6 months...poor little finn. Turned 6 months the day we flew home from Ethiopia. We were both sickly and tired...even one week later on Easter. This picture was taken on Easter...and I just remember we were sitting in a corner outside of the service trying to make it :) But for feeling yucky, he looks pretty sweet, although you can see his tired eyes. We tried solids the day after we got back, then took a week hiatus when we weren't feeling well. Ever since, we've been going strong on that front. He is so much fun. He is now 7 months. I promise I'm catching up here.
In other news, I am struggling with home stuff. I really want to focus my heart on things "not of this world"....like my faith, my children....the ENORMOUS pile of laundry that spills out of the closet... I don't want to be consumed with my "stuff" or my house...and to go along with the season of gratitude, I have a beautiful house. 2 bathrooms. That is huge in many places. One bathroom is a luxury in many countries. Hot water is a luxury. CLEAN water is a luxury in many places. I have a beautiful house. Plenty of room. Yet I want more. Where is the balance...in finding a home that has more room for my kiddos...but not feeling like I am consumed with "stuff". The boys and Brandon and I will be fine here for another couple years, but if we try to add another child in this house...forget it :) It will be squished. There I go again. Because Brandon's dad grew up in a small home with an outdoor bathroom. He and his brother shared a tiny room and his sisters shared a room across the hall. it was "squished" much more that I can imagine. And they made it JUST FINE. It's all perspective, friends.So, if the Lord allows us to sell our home, I will take it to mean we are free to move on. To buy something different. And if not...well...we will be squished for a while. (NO BABY ANNOUNCEMENT HERE...), we just might get squished in a couple years...
To make you smile, Brandon visited a school in Adama, the town our little man was found in, when we went to meet Yosef. They sang a song in english for him....can you hear it? You like Choc-o-lot, I like choc-o-lot... :)I stayed home with Finn and Eli. I will hopefully get to visit the school on this trip!
No news from the Embassy today. I did email them. I bet they're getting sick of me.If I could take them cookies, I would.But then, that might look like bribery, so maybe I wouldn't.Happy tuesday, my friends.
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