Mini Vans and Mom Jeans

Well, when you enter the stages of being a mom, sometimes you eat your words, I am realizing.
Brandon and I were married for almost six years before we had Finn.  In that time, MANY of my friends had kids.  In that time, I came up with many philosophies on how I would raise my children.  Dare I say, I passed judgement on choices they made, "Oh, they are doing great, but I would do it this way..."
Oh goodness, talk about eating your words!!
Even with a six week old, I can tell that things will change/have changed.  
I mean, look at my blogging...pretty pathetic.  My house...a mess!My laundry...sitting there..Finn's room...things everywhere.My vehicle: a MINIVAN.Oh yes, we did.
Judge. Judge. Oh, the cloud of pity I put over any of my friends that chose to drive a VAN when they had kids.  Oh, they have entered "that" phase.  It won't be me, I said.  I will drive the beautiful, cool SUV and blow all the other moms away with my awesome style.  I will be the "cool" mom who is still cute and in shape and I will drive an awesome car...
Then, we got pregnant for the second time and began adopting. And we thought about practicality.  We thought about gas mileage (hello, I just quit my job...) and I still said NO. NO way.  Small SUV with a third row, I said. 
My husband went to look at a Ford Freestyle in Atlanta. A  nice, small SUV with a third row.  perfect for our quickly expanding family.  He took with him a friend of ours who had two kids in one year, one by birth and one by adoption, and then quickly got pregnant with the third.  He had experience in the journey we were just starting to enter.  
When they got home from this trip, they had no vehicle with them.Instead, my husband comes back talking about the wonders of the minivan...and why we MUST have one.I told him, "I know this, but I choose the harder life...just to be cool and save my pride".He continued to push.And if you know him...when he gets his mind set on something...its' over.He wouldn't stop talking about the merits of the van.And his search began for a honda minivan.I would like to say that I was pulled on this journey kicking and screaming..A couple weeks later, we are driving this home from atlanta.

A Honda Oddysey. I like to call it "the hoddysey"
It took me a while to warm up to her."Do you want to drive the new car home?"..my sweet husband asked.."NOPE", "I'll drive the truck", I quickly responded"Good, I am excited to drive it", he said"Well, you can drive it everyday, then" came my quick response"Sure!" was his perky answer, but the next day the van was mine.  No longer did I have the dreaded jag wag (jaguar station wagon that embarrassed me for totally different reasons...I was driving a JAGUAR..hello POSH...and it was a WAGON...come on now..)The first couple times I drove it, I parked far, far away from where I was going.I got out quickly and distanced myself from the van, afraid to be associated with that horrendous beast.I mean, I was pregnant with no living children...and I had a VAN.
But as the days went on, and my belly grew, I realized that it was right at waist level, and I could slide right it.  to get into the jag, I had to do a deep squat and to get into the truck I had to heave all my energy into my left side to hoist myself up onto the seat.  I realized that the sliding doors were pretty slick...and easy.  I realized that I could maneuver that puppy into tight spots. I could walk through the whole vehicle. It was leather...it was nice...
And now, we are best friends. It is so easy to get Finn in and out.  It is large...I can walk to the back to get Finn's paci at a stoplight when he is SCREAMING and I am more upset than he is...I can easily nurse in the back, and I could watch a movie if I wanted to...
So, judgement removed, minivan moms.I am proud to be a hoddysey driver now.
Mom jeans? I can't do it.Although I am not quite looking the same in my own jeans..and might still be trying to get back in my favorite pair of normal jeans (BOO to the people who walk right back into normal clothes...I worked out my whole pregnancy, people...)...mom jeans just won't happen.
Then there is the question.
What do I do all day? I feel like I am constantly busy.  Mostly holding him...feeding him...changing him.Because people say, "hold them, it goes by too fast"So I am.And do you know what? I'm not going to feel guilty about it.These moments are fleeting.Quickly passing.And they don't come back.Unless I have another baby.And right now, that is the last thing on my mind!  Now, this doesn't mean I'm going to leave my husband to figure out his own dinner every night and just sit on the couch cooing to my baby.  But certainly there might be nights where that happens :)  Time is already FLYING by.  And I just don't want to miss any of it.  I am going to let him sleep in my arms instead of putting him in the swing. I am going to take pictures of him every morning. I am going to do some silly things that I won't have time to do with my next one (sadly)...Your first baby (I hesitate to say that, because he is not my first, but my first living...such a hard balance...I definitely remember Briar SO MUCH, but that is for another post) is so lucky because they get ALL of your attention. So many moms say, "Well, it won't be that one with your second"...and they are probably right, but I hate them for saying it. Because I want my second and third to get the same that Finn gets. But it will look different.And right now, time with this sweet guy is flying.I already have a 15+lb baby...and he is six weeks old.
He isn't tiny anymore.  His feet are hanging off my body when I nurse...if we don't have a pillow, he is kicking things halfway to the ground... I already feel like I'm nursing a toddler..

This is my view from my nursing chair.  {I finally got cool and used an app on my phone to take a cool vintage-y picture..up until now, I have just taken "normal" photos...}   I don't always nurse here, but at night it just seems right.  I turn on the sound machine, swaddle him up, sit in our corner...and it is always his longest nurse of the day...usually close to 45 minutes. Occasionally Brandon will come back and talk to me (we moved another chair into the nursery just for this purpose).  Some nights when I am extra tired and have lots to do, I think, "Goodness, when can I get out of here and get on with..." but then I look down at the sweet boy who I have the privilege to feed, and I think that there is nowhere else I would rather be.  The Lord is so good to allow such a gift.  
I don't blame anyone who chooses to formula feed.  Breastfeeding takes SO MUCH TIME...and ties you to your child.  Sometimes I feel so trapped in these three hour blocks of time, cut to two hours by the actual feed...minus getting ready and getting out of the house....
But I continue to come back to the point that it is SO worth it.  And, that it is just a season.A short season.So I am taking advantage of every moment of it.So if I am absent a bit, I'm sure you'll understand.Because this feels like it was YESTERDAY.




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