Friday, August 6, 2010

Back to the beginning...

Just thought I would share this, because I don't think I ever did back when we found out :)
We found out super early that we were pregnant, at about 6 weeks.  We found out everything early...including Briar's diagnosis.  In the pictures above, we must have already been about 5 1/2 weeks pregnant, but we had no idea.  The day we got back from Savannah, AG talked me into taking a pregnancy test. I was more than sure that I couldn't be pregnant, in fact after I took the test I walked away and continued on with my nightly routine. I was not concerned, I was just doing it to appease AG.  He yelled for me to come back in, and I immediately knew what it must say.  There were shocked looks and laughs exchanged, as we weren't expecting it to say this.  I thought it was a mistake. Within the next two days, I did about 7 tests which all came out positive.  Then I got a blood test which was also positive. It was still hard to believe. I'll never forget how exciting it was to see that word, loud and clear, screaming at us that we are about to be parents.  
Oh, Briar, you have been anticipated since you were 6 weeks...and now you're almost 26 weeks! That is 20 weeks of excitement :)  I can't believe where we are in the journey. I am at a point where I am beginning to meet others. Most people don't find out until their 20 week ultrasound, so most people are just now finding out the diagnosis. I don't know which is better, because it might have been nice to go through several months of quiet excitement, but at the same time, it would have been that much more anticipation squashed.  
Either way, I'm so thankful to begin to meet others walking the road with me, one friend in particular emails with me almost every day.  It is such a blessing to me to walk the road with someone.  

Today at school I didn't have ANY kids ask me about my belly. Interesting. 
I am glad, because the first day wore me out enough as it was!!
Maybe if I ignore the pregnancy at school, they will too :)
Obviously, I don't want to ignore Briar, but I don't know if I can talk about it with kids all the time...and still get any teaching done.
Hope you enjoy some of these "pure excitement" pics. WE are horrible secret keepers. We told our parents about two days later. We planned on waiting weeks!


  1. Such cute pics of you & Bran...thanks for sharing!

  2. I got your blog address from Mary Nita (Jared's Mom). I have read almost every one of your posts from 2010. I want you to know that you are an inspiration to me. God stuff aside, your creatity is awesome and your sense of humor makes me laugh out loud. It is good to laugh. Brooke, I cannot imagine your grief. You have such a bittersweet burden to carry. Little Briar is so lucky to have a mommy like you!!!!
    I lost a baby girl 7 weeks ago. She was our 4th child and 1st daughter. I understand your wanting someone to walk this journey with you, someone who has experienced exactly what you are experiencing. I too want someone to understand that even though I was "only" 21 weeks pregant with our daughter she is as real to me as all my other children. She has a place in our lives, a room in our home. Plans for the future were already made. I had her christmas outfit and stocking ready to go. Cupcake recipes were lined up for our first mommy/daughter date, something I dreamed of for 10 years. Lily Kristyn was my dream come true. I was only able to spend 30 minutes with her and even then it was only her body in my arms. I will never know the color of her eyes or if she would have curly hair like our youngest or thick dark hair like our oldest. I grieve so much for what should have been but rest in the fact that nothing was "taken from me." I was given exactly what was mine. 21 weeks with my baby girl. Sometimes it feels like a cruel trick to grant me this gift then to have it taken away...But our hope endures and our faith is strengthened in the truth that God is good. He is faithful and He will never leave us! I grieve deeply for you. I want you to know that your burden I will carry before our God, asking that he will make His presence so real to you You are doing such a wonderful job of representing a life truly dependent on Him. His faithfulness shines through you! I pray you will have his strength to keep the faith and finish this race. Not by might, or power but by His spirit.

    Please don't feel obligated to respond. I just wanted you to know I'm praying for you, your hubby, and little Briar.

  3. Thanks for sharing:) I love the pictures. Still thinking about you and sweet Briar.

  4. Hi Brooke,
    I found your blog from the BBC CTT board. I'm 34 weeks pregnant with a trisomy 18 baby boy, Alexander. Different diagnosis, but a fatal condition nonetheless. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings here. It makes me feel less alone. I hope you also feel less alone knowing there are others like me walking this journey with you.

  5. that's so bunny about taking two pregnancy tests. When we found out we were expecting our first I took not one, not two, not three but FIVE tests. One right after the other. We'd been trying to get pregnant for 7 years and couldn't believe it had finally happened! :)

    Hopping over from Ashley Ann's blog.